Friday, May 16, 2014
I think I like who I am right now. I used to be this shell of a person who was shy and insecure. I didn't like myself, looking back I didn't know how bad the situation was. I remember going to school and acting like one person then coming home and pretending to be someone else. I couldn't please everyone and I was never happy. But as I grew older I learned that I needed to be myself and first, I needed to gain the confidence to do so. It is a terrible feeling to not only be someone your not, but to not even be confident in the false role your playing. Your true personality gets suppressed to the point where you don't even know what's what. But anyway, I grew up and I gained that confidence. The only problem now was achieving the task of being myself. I mean, Who is "myself"? (excuse the weird wording). but seriously, who am I?
So right now I am just enjoying being confident. That was all I worried about the last couple of years. And now that I have it, I appreciate it in everyway. I use it to make friends, to start relationships, to assert my voice and opinion. Now if I could only figure out how to develop into a unique individual. I guess what I do know is that I DON'T like the thought of living here all my life and knowing the same people till the day I die.